The second week of December, Grammy and Grandpa flew out to our house and gave us the best 10th anniversary present ever… watching the kids for six days while we went to Oahu! We had originally planned the trip around bringing Meredith and had planned to hang out at the pool, beach and wherever else we could manage with a ten month old. With only a few weeks until takeoff, we started having second thoughts the more mobile and eager to crawl around and explore she became as the days went by. At the constant nagging of my parents, and the generous offers from friends to provide backup assistance if needed, we decided within the last two weeks before our trip to leave her at home and go solo.

In the end, although it still would have seemed like a vacation to us without the twins, it was wonderful not having to hold a squirmy baby on a five hour plane ride and be able to go wherever we wanted without being on a schedule or lugging baby gear. Pumping on the plane and in the car while we toured around Oahu was not fun, but worth the effort and TSA fortunately didn’t give me any hassle about the cooler full of frozen milk we brought back on the way home (although both times they stopped to examine everything and didn’t know what my pump was). Meredith was happier at home with her sisters for entertainment, so it all worked out on both sides. Although I was initially nervous, we were grateful everyone convinced us to let her stay at home!

All the work and preparation required just to get the house ready and work projects completed on Jake’s front necessitated a vacation in themselves. The thirty page manual I left for my parents detailing everyone’s schedules, routines, emergency info, school procedures, and everything about the house made me feel slightly more at ease leaving everyone, but it was still difficult to let it all go, even though I knew deep down that everyone was in very capable hands. Knowing how crazy things can get at home, I wanted to make things as easy as possible on my parents so that the week would go as smoothly as possible. Fortunately, they had it all under control, with or without my “sub plan!”

Having never been away from the twins more than a night and day and Meredith no more than a few hours, I thought I would be freaking out at the last minute, but in the end, once we boarded the plane (with minutes to spare… gotta love LA traffic) we were on official “Island Time” and were too relaxed to worry.

We Face Timed once (girls didn’t seem to care we were gone…ouch!) and received periodic text and picture updates, but besides that, we were physically and mentally kid-free for a magical week! Once we got over the shock of just being Rebecca and Jake instead of mommy and daddy, we had more fun than we’ve had in a long time.

The first few days, it was quite surreal not having our kids in tow and I found myself wanted to reach out to other moms in the airport who had kids splayed on on the floor, screaming, or the parents we saw in restaurants, trying in vain to keep their baby from throwing food all over themselves, and exclaim, “I totally get it! I’m a mom too!”

Sometimes when I’m out and I see couples without kids enjoying a relaxing meal or leisurely strolling on the beach, I wonder if they have any idea how hard it is to enjoy so much as a five minute swing through the drive thru when you’ve got three screaming kids. It felt so weird to be on the flip side of that scenario, being “that couple” and observing other families from the outside. In those moments, I felt simultaneously grateful for the chance I have to be a mom and be a part of so many wonderful moments as a family, and grateful that I didn’t have the kids with me and could eat, sleep and play whenever I wanted! It was definitely a strange dichotomy.

We did give a few “You’re doing a great job!” words of encouragement to a few parents we saw who were struggling with melting down toddlers in restaurants and bickering siblings at the beach. I’m usually the one with the melting down kids in the grocery store, so we felt it our duty to pay it forward and cheer on fellow parents instead of passing judgment. All in all, it was interesting not being solely identified as “mom” for a change!

Another aspect of being kid-free for a week that was truly amazing was how much sheer TIME we had. Six days didn’t really seem like a lot of time on the outset of our trip, but most days we would get ready for the day, enjoy a leisurely breakfast, go paddle boarding, explore the beach, and grab an Uber to see some sights, and then we’d look at the clock and it would only be 9:30 a.m.!!! It was definitely amazing how much time we had when not having to dress, feed, potty, buckle, and pack for three kids.

A few other amazing parts of our kid-free trip I jotted down:

Packing: EASY. Just throw in a few things for myself. BOOM. Done.

The airport: NON-STRESSFUL. We were running through the airport to catch our plane, and yet, we weren’t stressed about it. Worst-case scenario was that we would grab lunch and read a book in peace while waiting for something standby to come up.

The plane ride: NO ONE begged to steal my chips and I slept/read/watched whenever/whatever I wanted. So peaceful!

Going out to eat: No worrying about if the kids would eat whatever was on the menu, or if the wait would be too long before they melted down, or if we’d get kicked out of the restaurant after reaching the threshold for allowed amount of food thrown on the ground. We didn’t have to be on a schedule and ate whenever we felt like it. Amazing!

Car rides: FAST. No twenty minutes of buckling seat belts and loading up diaper bags with snacks, diapers, wipes, toys, changes of clothes, the entire Baby Gear section of Target, etc. We just called an Uber (or rented a car) and off we went… no potty stops needed.

Waking up: We did a few sunrise hikes and woke up to an alarm some days, but alarm or no alarm, at least I was not awoken by a sobbing kid who had just wet the bed, a hungry baby or twins arguing in shrill voices about who stole whose stuffed animal! I loved waking up to the sound of waves and a warm ocean breeze every morning. Heaven. 

Activities: Since we had originally planned our trip with Meredith in mind and then changed plans the last minute, most of our plans were made impromptu, which felt so fun and spontaneous, and totally would not have been doable with the kids there. From relaxing on the beach and reading in peace to paddle boarding, four-wheeling, hiking, boating and snorkeling, we had  and almost didn’t know what to do with ourselves given that much freedom.

Obviously, we did miss the girls, but it was truly rejuvenating for both of us personally and as a couple. We are so grateful to my parents for supporting us and sacrificing their time, sanity and energy to provide us with peace of mind while we were gone.

I don’t normally blog about anything that doesn’t directly relate to the kids, so I’m just posting collages of our favorite photos as a recap. Now that we are back and I’m knee deep in the exhausting daily hamster wheel of feeding, cleaning, and wiping, I look back on these pictures fondly! Seems like a dream.

We stayed in the quiet part of Oahu, Ko’Olina, and enjoyed the peace and tranquility away from the crowds at Waikiki. Our first few hours on the island were pretty eventful as after arriving in the pouring rain, we were at the front desk of the hotel, when Jake lunged for the nearest trash can and emptied into it whatever had been in his stomach (plane food?)

To their credit, the Four Seasons staff masked their disgust (it was pretty gross!) and helped us up to our room, and then checked in on us periodically, brining ginger ale, chamomile tea, and anything else they could think of to make him more comfortable. Jake slept it off, while I enjoyed the beautiful view and read in peace without anyone screaming in the background.

Jake made a full recovery from his random bout of illness and we later walked around the beach and ate out, not quite knowing how to deal with so many choices since we didn’t have to make any decisions based on the kids! I was in seafood/asian fusion heaven the entire time. Two words: poke bowls! Yum! It was also nice being able to dine at a normal pace instead of wolfing my food down while standing up, which happens too often in the midst of all the chaos with the girls at home. 

It rained on and off for the first few days, which seemed to scare away most people because we were able to have so many pristine beaches to ourselves.

Disney’s Aulani was right next door, so we ate there a few times and scoped it out for a possible future trip with the kids. The first few days we hung around the beach and pool and enjoyed just lounging peacefully, swimming, or reading. A DREAM.

We had the entire lagoon to ourselves for paddle boarding one morning, which was a good thing since I am less than graceful on a paddle board (although I never fell in… that honor went to Jake). 

After taking it easy for a few days, we took Ubers (and a rental car the last few days) around the island and explored to our heart’s content. Some activities, like boating and snorkeling, we had to plan ahead, but our most fun adventures were those we decided to do spur of the moment. Spontaneity is not normally my M.O., but after embracing Jake’s style, we had the most fun we’ve had in a long time!

Boating out to the Makaha Caverns and snorkeling in the clear water, we saw a pod of over 100 dolphins, dozens of sea turtles and beautiful fish of all colors. Last time we went to Maui five anniversaries ago, I became so sea sick on a boating trip there, that I was traumatized and haven’t gone on any boats since. This trip, I faced my fear, and determined that even with a few dramamines in my system, I do not handle choppy waves very well. I at least wasn’t throwing up over the side of the boat like the last time, so that was an improvement!

We are both scuba certified and we felt a little lame snorkeling, but we hadn’t updated our scuba certifications since we hadn’t originally planned on being without Meredith this trip. It was beautiful under the water, but we didn’t see nearly as much wildlife as we have in the past scuba diving deeper under the water.

Scuba in Maui:

On our boat, there were two families with small kids, which made us have a few of those longing “The kids would have had so much fun here!” moments… that is, until we witnessed the parents taking years just to get their kids’ snorkel gear on, only to have said kids scream and flail in the water and refuse to snorkel at all two minutes later. Yep, we were glad we hadn’t brought them!

One of the best parts of our trip was meeting fun people, and many of the those came in the form of interesting Uber drivers! Every driver we had was incredibly helpful and was genuinely interested in giving us good advice so that we could have a good time. Our driver who took us to Pearl Harbor gave us a little tour of downtown Honolulu, complete with a full history and an itinerary of places to eat. We made it too late to Pearl Harbor to take the boat out the U.S.S. Arizona, but there was still plenty to see and read about as everything was decked out for Pearl Harbor’s 75th anniversary.

Mahalo to all our friendly drivers and to all the amazing Hawaiian people who made our trip memorable… the Polynesian culture in general is so warm and friendly!

We strolled along Waikiki and downtown Honolulu, which was packed with Japanese tourists and their selfie sticks! Waikiki was loud and crazy, and we were happy we were staying in the tranquil part of Ko’Olina where we had the beaches to ourselves. You can see Diamond Head in the background, which we hiked later in the week.

Jake took the reigns planning a few hikes, and boy, was the first one a hike! The Pu’u Manamana hike to the Crouching Lion lookout wasn’t particularly long, but it was a very steep uphill battle through dense jungle and thick mud. I was on my hands and knees, crawling through mud and pulling myself up with vines most of the time, but muddy and drenched in sweat as we were at the top, the expansive view of the island was worth it. We had way too much fun taking panoramas and had to wait a while until we found some fellow hikers to take our picture since it was pretty remote.

Although I did see the warning signs at the beginning of the trail and pointed out to Jake that the trail was closed, I didn’t find out until later that there’s a fine if the security guards/cops catch you completing the latter part of the hike to the summit (which we didn’t do) and has been named  “Oahu’s Most Dangerous Hike” with several deaths each year.

The crazy part to the summit featuring a seven-inch wide trail with sheer cliff drops on either side that we didn’t do:

The Crouching Lion portion of the hike was enough adventure for us! We were glad we didn’t continue on to the summit for five more hours! The views of the dense jungle-covered mountains and bright azure water were unreal and breathtakingly beautiful.

There were a handful of hikers who came and went that morning, but we mostly had the views of such pristine beauty to ourselves. The trek down was almost more difficult than the hike up as we slid down the steep, muddy cliffs, tripped on hidden vines and tree roots and had to grab on to whatever tree branches and rocks we could manage to stop ourselves from tumbling down out of control.

“This will be fun!” Jake said. “It will be easy!” he said. Never taking his word for it again.

Covered in mud from head to toe, we washed ourselves off in the ocean after our descent.

Like I said earlier, we were really able to pack a lot in to our day, not having to lug the kids and their gear around, so it was still early in the morning after we descended Crouching Lion. We drove along the coast, taking in the gorgeous contrast of the clear water against the bright green mountains, and stopped at Kualoa Ranch where we four-wheeled through the jungle and mountains and then along the coast. Kualoa Ranch is where Jurassic Park and Lost were filmed and we could see why; it felt so remote and the rugged beauty of the jungle-covered mountains was breathtaking. Cue Jurassic Park theme song:

Our adventure continued as we drove back to the other side of the island for another hike (maybe not the best idea to do two exhausting hikes through the jungle in one day), this time to Waimano Falls. We got lost at first, but other hikers pointed us in the right direction and we eventually found the falls. We were beyond exhausted at this point, and while the trail was only three miles long and did not feature as steep of an ascent as the Crouching Lion earlier, we still had to slide, pull and crawl our way up and down the dense jungle and mud. We had the falls and pools to ourselves at the end and were able to wash off/rest there. It took every ounce of our energy to make it back before nightfall and a shower and sleep had never sounded so good by the end of the night.

The next morning, we woke up at 4 a.m. (sounds like a vacation, I know!) to get to Diamond Head so we could hike it by sunrise. The infamous Honolulu traffic reared its ugly head and we were sitting on the freeway in bumper to bumper traffic for two hours at 5 in the morning. I didn’t think anything could be worse than California traffic, but I was wrong. Last time we went to Maui, we woke up at 2 a.m. to hike the Haleakala Crater at sunrise, and it was breathtaking, so were were hoping for another gorgeous repeat.

Haleakala:

We didn’t make the hike for sunrise, but it was still a beautiful hike with views of the coast and Waikiki. Unlike our other hikes, Diamond Head was paved and a very touristy spot, which made it difficult to get pictures due to the crowds. It was beautiful and worth braving the traffic, but some of the other less well-known and remote hikes were our favorites by far.

One of our favorite easy hikes, suggested by an Uber driver, was the hike to Makapu’u Point Lighthouse. WWII era bunkers and strategically-place pillboxes dotted the cliffs along the way and we could see as far as the turtle islands, Molokai and Maui across the channel. It was amazing to imagine how isolating it would feel to be a soldier on the island during WWII, defending paradise from enemy attack. 

Our favorite drive was our drive up past the Dole Pineapple plantation and out to the North Shore, famous for its laid back surf culture and massive waves. We were on “Island Time” and leisurely drove the coast, stopping whenever we felt like it… not something that would have happened had the kids been with us!

We stopped at North Shore’s Pipeline Beach and watched the surfers competing in the World Surfing Championship competition tackle the intimidating and massive tube-shaped waves. We feasted on acai bowls and shaved ice from the ubiquitous food trucks dotting the coast, cheered on the surfers and saw a huge tortoise sunbathing on the sand at Laniakea Beach.  

A little bit further up the North Shore, we toured the Polynesian Cultural Center in Laie and felt right at home surrounded by all the friendly staff they pull from BYU-Hawaii. The PCC was basically a Polynesian Disneyland, with each section dedicated to a Polynesian island, complete with each culture’s dances, food, handicrafts, and architecture. Had we known the park was so massive, we would have planned more time there, but hopefully we’ll be able to come back with the girls because they would have loved it.

During the luau  at the PCC, they pulled everyone who was celebrating a honeymoon or anniversary on stage to dance to a special song, and later called me and a few other girls up to embarrass ourselves learning the hula on stage. That video clip is stored away in a maximum security vault and will never see the light of day! We both agreed the food and luau in general was basically a Polynesian version of a ward dinner (and not in a good way!), but we gave into the cheesiness of it all and had fun. The girls would  have had a blast, so we tried to keep them in mind! The “Ha: Breath of Life” show after dinner was a beautiful display of all types of Polynesian dance and storytelling, and we enjoyed learning about the different cultures.

We enjoyed our last few days of kidless freedom, roasting s’mores, watching “Elf” on the outdoor screen on the beach, and strolling along the pathway connecting the beaches. We were not ready to get on the plane to return home! I felt like weeping as we said goodbye to “Island Time” and prepared ourselves to once again tackle the relentless exhaustion of “Kid Time.”

Meanwhile, at home, the girls had the time of their lives. Thanks, Grammy and Grandpa!

We were happy my parents survived the week and that the girls had a grand time while we were gone. It was nice to give everyone a big squeeze! Meredith, in particular, was markedly surprised and happy to see us, while the twins just shrugged it off like it was just a normal day. Getting back into the routine after a week in paradise was rough to say the least, but we had our memories of the sun and sand to sustain us. Feeling rejuvenated definitely made it easier to have the energy and patience to jump into the fray of childcare once again.

I’m sure Grammy and Grandpa were exhausted by the end of the week, but they didn’t showed it and all the girls had the time of their lives. In fact, my mom told me when we returned that when she explained to the twins at bedtime that they would be seeing mommy and daddy in the morning their response was not, “Oh! We’re so excited and we miss them so much!” but,

“Oh. Are they bringing presents???”

Thanks, girls. Nice to feel loved.

We apparently weren’t gone long enough and are definitely planning on leaving for more time next go around… ten days? Two weeks? At least enough for them to miss us!

Lots of love,